Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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