Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
