i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
