all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
