Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize