so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
