How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
