Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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