I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
