i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
