I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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