I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
