Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
they need to just BURY HIM!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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