Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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