I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Someone came in the potted fern
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
