The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
