Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
