hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
