We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
