he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
