Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize