i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
