I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Are my feet made of real feet?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
