Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
