i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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