i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
