we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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