I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
