After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
