fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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