I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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