we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
