I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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