You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
where does the pee come out of this thing
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
