Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
