okay pat passed out under dana's car
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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