yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
