i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
