well I can't set my house on fire every night
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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