when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
