Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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