I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
