so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
