Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
