I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
