addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
