around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
