i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
it hurts more in the daytime
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
