Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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