So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
