I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
