If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
