I think my vagina is haunted
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think a kid would responsible me up
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
