He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
