When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
