and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
