I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
