i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize