So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
