Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
