I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize