So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
