My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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