I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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