don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
