I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
