Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
