I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
