I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
