you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We are two peas in an std pod
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
