i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
