don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
