I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
