You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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