You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
