420 ftw
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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