Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
