You made me cry and you don't even care
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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