I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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