her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
