Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
