great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
