Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Too much gin, very little bucket
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
