i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
