was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
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